Sunday, September 8, 2013

Latest Reviews & Updates

Monika (1974)
Private Lessons (1981)
Dazed and Confused (1993)
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
The Hangover Part II (2011)
The Endless Summer (1966)
Bachelor Party (1984)
Malibu High (1979)
One Crazy Summer (1986)
Private Resort (1985)
Rock N' Roll High School (1979)
Murmur of the Heart (1971)
Dirty Dancing (1987)
Meatballs (1979)
Joysticks (1983)
The Stoned Age (1994)
Project X (2012)
Myth of the American Sleepover (2010)
SBTB: Hawaiian Style (1992)
The First Time (1968)

Latest Honorary Graduate : Wooderson

School might be out for summer, but B.A.L.L.S. Academy is now in session! Our curriculum includes raunchy sex comedies, teen movies, sexploitation, coming-of-age dramas, character salutes, trivia and just about everything in between with multiple updates each and every week. The opening round of reviews feature five flicks we’ve deemed essential, plus one that hangs nice and low with the big boys. So break out your spirit of choice, to hell with the mix and prepare to be schooled in the arts of chasing broads, raising hell, defying authority, and just livin’ life. June 8, 2011... B.A.L.L.S. drops!

Dazed and Confused (1993)


“You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N.”

The Story:

Alice Cooper is blaring on every car stereo and 8-track player near Lee High School and its surrounding suburbs. It’s May 28th, 1976, which happens to be the last day of school. Though it’s still a couple of hours until the final bell rings, party plans are being made, joints are being rolled, and kegs are en route for delivery. Everyone from the incoming freshmen class to the rising (and repeating) seniors are about to embark on a night that’ll kick off another unforgettable summer.

Private Lessons (1981)


"My breasts, how do you like them?”
"Oh, they're, uh...very nice."
"Would you like to touch them?"

The Story:

Instead of going to camp this year, 15 year old Philly (Eric Brown) is planning on spending his summer vacation with his buddy. Together, the two spy on girls and engage in ill-informed sex talk. However, Philly is about to be very informed because the new French housekeeper (Sylvia Kristel) is apparently an insatiable nymphomaniac who is all too eager to give him some private lessons. Philly (and the audience) is obviously confounded because it’s certainly too good to be true…right?

Wet Hot American Summer (2001)


"Andy, have you seen my swimming buddy? If I can't find him, I'm telling Beth that you let him drown.”
"I was busy!"

The Story:

Summer 1981 is winding down to a close, and it’s the last day at Camp Firewood, which means something a little bit different for everyone. Some campers are still in search of that elusive summer love, while some just want to get laid one last time. Still others are concerned with serious stuff like accepting themselves and overcoming their Vietnam war demons (it’s an eclectic crew!). The common thread amongst them all? Dodging responsibility, partying down, and preparing for the big talent show that‘ll cap off the year’s camp season…if a rogue satellite doesn’t fall from orbit and crush them all first?!

Monika (1974)


"The models are all full figured. Do you like thick women?"
“No. But you don’t always have the choice.”

The Story:

Blonde and beautiful Monika (Gloria Guida) isn’t just turning 16 in two weeks, she’s also turning the heads of every male in town. While she is popular at school, Monika can’t seem to find a suitor to match her intelligence nor handle her sexual restraint. Wanting her first time to be special and realizing her current boyfriend Leo (Gianluigi Chirizzi) is a pig who doesn’t respect her, she sets her sights on her teacher, Bruno (AndrĂ©s Resino), who represents everything she believes a man should be; honest, artistic and sweet. Lurking around every corner is a deplorable lawyer named Moroni (Paolo Carlini), who is friends with Monika’s family and has no qualms with paying the skeevy pimp Leo for sexual favors from the high school girls he beds. It seems the whole town sees Monika on top of their self-indulgent sexual sundae with infatuation fuelled by what’s between her legs instead of what’s in her heart.